Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
