I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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