let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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