Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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