This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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