Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
