I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize