Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?