I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't