I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
