it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
