trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
