You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
