just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
