I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
