question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
