At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
