This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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