i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
