OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
