im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
