Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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