you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
