just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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