I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
