i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So apparently I’m into choking now
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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