A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
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Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
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I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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