Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize