He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
