Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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