so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
