I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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