Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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