thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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