I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
