Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
