I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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