Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
