Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
