how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
