i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
