remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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