If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
