Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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