i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
