Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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