Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
ok first of all what the fuck
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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