I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
