accomplished twins. life is a go
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
