Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
this boner is exhausting
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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