I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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