just tell him i said nine months
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
