Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
