im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
