When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
