at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
bring money and cleavage
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
