i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
