You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
