I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
