CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
