Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
