The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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