Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize