so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
