you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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