Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
