So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so let's talk penis.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
