he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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