worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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